September 29th, 2016

“i want so badly for the world to feel entitled to its joy, to its pleasure, to its delight. i want so badly for people to give themselves permission to transcend. i want so badly to be able to walk down the street without having my joy punished out of me. i want so badly to share this with you. this (un)becoming. this invitation. this joy.” -Alok Vaid-Menon

I was riding a tram the other day when suddenly it hit me. I realized that this whole growing up and finding yourself business was not about adding on, becoming something new. For me, figuring out who I am and the ways in which I am constantly changing or shifting encompasses a distinct unbecoming. Each day I feel more like myself, more like the person I want to be, the person I want to be friends with. Yet this didn’t come by adding on or learning new ways in which to be a fully-formed human, this came by taking off, by shedding. I am in the process of leaving behind all the versions of myself society or different groups of people expected me to be. I am throwing out societal-pressure and shrugging off the comfort of wanting to be liked by everyone. I am putting myself in a blank room with walls made up by my own being, so that I can grow and change and live with me, with who I want to be, with who I will be.

So this is a statement to myself. A statement to clean and smile and un-become a creature of society. A statement to make my anthem one of love and poetry and fucks given and no fucks given.

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