It is hard at times to reconcile who I am now, both physically and mentally, with who I was when I most recently updated this online space. A lot has changed since I left off on my online timeline of this summer’s travels.
Since then I visited a couple more places.
I came home to Alabama.
I worked through the negative feelings I encountered simply by occupying the same physical area as people who hurt me in high school.
I had a professional job for the state legislature that made me excited and fulfilled and a little be reassured about working in offices.
I made maybe the best decision of my life so far and moved to Colorado.
I have spent the past four months living here and I have no clue how to start describing it. I am so happy. I am so loved. My life here is surreal and incomprehensible and unlike anything else. Being here has also changed me – I have barely written or read anything (poetry or otherwise except for ofc my journal) which surprisingly gives me no feelings of disappointment or loss. That part of my identity simply wasn’t needed for my time here and I am okay with that. However, as the season draws to an abrupt close, I have gotten the itch to process my thoughts through writing, and also prepare for the rapidly upcoming and mildly terrifying transition to four years of intense intellectual work.
So here we have it. I plan on writing more, and writing for online publication more. I have not yet decided how much I want to process these past four months in Colorado on this website because, in some ways, it feels so immensely sacred I want to cradle these memories and people in my own brain for a little while. How do you describe something this special to people who have no comprehension of what this life is like, what this time has been? How do you describe something you love this intensely? At the same time though, how do you not sing every opportunity you get about something that makes your heart so full it just might burst?
Here’s to my return!